We are safely back in Homer, but as I write this the café I am sitting in is having internet problems so it might be a day or two before I can post this. Yeah the internet is down on the base too. That’s life though. Any way, things are going good and we are settling back into life off the island. We are getting used to things moving a bit faster, a lack of snow, and having the things we want right at our finger tips. Also, something I was noticing yesterday was the quietness. Normally by 3:30 the church was full of noisy kids demanding our attention which we happily gave them, but yesterday (Sunday) at 3:30 Lindsay was sleeping and I had no idea what to do with myself. I actually had time to myself on a nice sunny day.
So things have changed a lot, but it has been a good transition. We are missing the island a bit though. It is funny how that works. While you are there you just focus on what you are there to do knowing that your time is limited, but you talk some about all the things you can’t wait to get back home for. Real milk instead of powdered milk. Real cheese. A hamburger, Mc Donald’s maybe. Pop that doesn’t cost $10.50 for a twelve pack. Something other than standard Folgers coffee. Yeah, we are spoiled with good coffee here in Homer. Oh, and fruit. Man did we miss fresh fruit. Well, we have had a chance to indulge our selves on a few of these things, over the last two days. Now I find myself wishing I had another day or two back on the island to try to have those conversations that I didn’t have time for while I was there. Also, a chance to say good bye to some people that didn’t make it by the church our last two days.
I guess I really didn’t know how much God had been using us all until it was time to go. When the kids start asking you to stay for another week, people start telling you about all the things on the island they would like to show you over the summer months when the snow is gone, or just the sadness in someone’s eyes as goodbyes are said not knowing if they will ever see you again, it really touches you. We swapped phone numbers, e-mail addresses, and mailing addresses, but it is hard to think of a "pen pal" relationship after so many face to face meetings with people. We are committed to keeping in touch with many people though. Lindsay has already talked to some of the girls she connected with, and I have sent some e-mails (today finally).
As we have been able to sit and talk with the whole team a bit, we are seeing how God has moved in people’s lives in so many ways. Everyone on the team has been impacted greatly by the things we saw, the stories we heard, and all the people we met. It is really one of those things where you go in wanting to pour into people as much as you can, but in the end it seems like you have learned and received so much more than expected. I can’t describe it. God is good.
As the week goes on and we spend some time processing, we will try to put up a few more pictures and a few more stories. So, keep an eye out for that. Thank you for your prayers and support. The Freelands
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Sunday, May 18, 2008
A week later
Time is going by so fast. It has already been about two weeks since our last blog. It has been so easy to lose track of time here. It seems like we are constantly doing something. Now we are down to our last week here in Gambell as we fly out on Friday May 16th.(We actually just got back yesterday now. Sorry I could not post this sooner) We apologize for not getting more blogs out, but here we have to go to the other end of the village to the open gym from 7-10 at night in order to get a good internet signal. This has proven to be difficult with things going on at the church four nights a week, and a steady stream of visitors in the evening that we have had some wonderful opportunities to share testimonies with. God is really blessing us all with ministry opportunities.
First off, Lindsay and I would like to thank you all for your prayers. Our health has been good, and we have been able to keep up with the kids and the pace of things here pretty well over the last weeks. We have still not seen any whales here. The ice conditions are good for whaling now, but wind, fog, gas leaks, and many other factors have kept the boats from having any success so far. At least that is what the scoop is from the village elders that we often talk with down by the beach. It has been a lot of fun to go down and spend a little time talking with the men that no longer go "boating" and hear all their stories. These people are absolutely fearless out on the water, and it is incredible to hear their stories, and even watch video of their hunts.
We have had the opportunities twice now to be down by the beach when boats have come in from hunting. While they are not getting any whales, bearded seals and walrus have been taken. So, they are having some success with their time on the water. We even were able to see a walrus skull and tusks fresh from the evening hunt. It was incredible to see. No where else in the world can you experience something like that except with the Eskimo people that still rely on the sea for much of their food and lively hood. (At least no where I know of.)
Back to ministry opportunities. The team is really settling into the village here. We are feeling more and more welcome and at home every day. Three members of the team have been committed to going to the school in the afternoons and working as teachers aides. They have really been able to connect with more youth this way, and encourage them to come by the church, but mostly they are a blessing to the teachers who have to deal with a pretty rambunctious group of kids every day. A couple others have made the open gym a regular thing, and have gotten to know a lot of people through that, and have even had ministry opportunities with people there. Open gym is more than just basketball here, it is a place to socialize as well.
Lindsay and I have been regular attendants to the elders lunch each day. It has been a good opportunity to sit down with a group of people that does not get by the church much. We have also had some incredible conversations with people that have really opened up about struggles and hardships that they have faced. We have had the chance to talk with them, pray with them, and just be there to encourage them that God is with them. Many people here have been surprisingly open with us "church people" about things that they need the Lord’s help with in their lives. Most are very receptive to us praying for them right on the spot even. The faith of the people has really been an encouragement to us.
The team has been doing an incredible job with Sunday sermons, Wednesday night testimonies, and Thursday night prayer sessions. God has really led each of us through these things as we have stepped out in them. Last Sunday I had my first opportunity to give the sermon. The Lord had been really putting some things on my heart to talk about. The focus was mainly on prayer. I talked about spiritual battles, taking things to God, searching yourself for things you may be doing wrong, forgiveness of others, and God’s promises if we do all these things as we come before Him in prayer. That is that He will hear and answer our prayers when we are humbled before Him. We simply need to ask because He wants to prosper us.
Again, thank you for your prayers. It means a lot to us to know that you are praying for us, and we can really see God’s covering over us. Continue to pray for a whale for the people of Gambell. They really do rely on these animals for much of there food throughout the year. Also, walrus are much needed. The meat from these seems to be almost more desirable. They love to age it and dry it, and is a 4th of July favorite from what we have heard. More to come.....
First off, Lindsay and I would like to thank you all for your prayers. Our health has been good, and we have been able to keep up with the kids and the pace of things here pretty well over the last weeks. We have still not seen any whales here. The ice conditions are good for whaling now, but wind, fog, gas leaks, and many other factors have kept the boats from having any success so far. At least that is what the scoop is from the village elders that we often talk with down by the beach. It has been a lot of fun to go down and spend a little time talking with the men that no longer go "boating" and hear all their stories. These people are absolutely fearless out on the water, and it is incredible to hear their stories, and even watch video of their hunts.
We have had the opportunities twice now to be down by the beach when boats have come in from hunting. While they are not getting any whales, bearded seals and walrus have been taken. So, they are having some success with their time on the water. We even were able to see a walrus skull and tusks fresh from the evening hunt. It was incredible to see. No where else in the world can you experience something like that except with the Eskimo people that still rely on the sea for much of their food and lively hood. (At least no where I know of.)
Back to ministry opportunities. The team is really settling into the village here. We are feeling more and more welcome and at home every day. Three members of the team have been committed to going to the school in the afternoons and working as teachers aides. They have really been able to connect with more youth this way, and encourage them to come by the church, but mostly they are a blessing to the teachers who have to deal with a pretty rambunctious group of kids every day. A couple others have made the open gym a regular thing, and have gotten to know a lot of people through that, and have even had ministry opportunities with people there. Open gym is more than just basketball here, it is a place to socialize as well.
Lindsay and I have been regular attendants to the elders lunch each day. It has been a good opportunity to sit down with a group of people that does not get by the church much. We have also had some incredible conversations with people that have really opened up about struggles and hardships that they have faced. We have had the chance to talk with them, pray with them, and just be there to encourage them that God is with them. Many people here have been surprisingly open with us "church people" about things that they need the Lord’s help with in their lives. Most are very receptive to us praying for them right on the spot even. The faith of the people has really been an encouragement to us.
The team has been doing an incredible job with Sunday sermons, Wednesday night testimonies, and Thursday night prayer sessions. God has really led each of us through these things as we have stepped out in them. Last Sunday I had my first opportunity to give the sermon. The Lord had been really putting some things on my heart to talk about. The focus was mainly on prayer. I talked about spiritual battles, taking things to God, searching yourself for things you may be doing wrong, forgiveness of others, and God’s promises if we do all these things as we come before Him in prayer. That is that He will hear and answer our prayers when we are humbled before Him. We simply need to ask because He wants to prosper us.
Again, thank you for your prayers. It means a lot to us to know that you are praying for us, and we can really see God’s covering over us. Continue to pray for a whale for the people of Gambell. They really do rely on these animals for much of there food throughout the year. Also, walrus are much needed. The meat from these seems to be almost more desirable. They love to age it and dry it, and is a 4th of July favorite from what we have heard. More to come.....
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
On to Gambell!!
Every time Matt or I sit down to write, it seems so difficult to know where to start. Even Matt and I frequently feel the need to pinch ourselves to realize where we are. It was only 2 years ago we began dating, and now we are married and ministering to and learning from Eskimo’s. Who would have ever imagined we would be spending some of our first months together on an island in the middle of the Bering Straight?
It has been 2 weeks now since the last blog. In the past two weeks, we said "Goodbye" to wonderful new friends in Savoonga and have begun making new friends in Gambell. Our last week in Savoonga was a busy week! It’s hard to believe that you can love people so much after only spending three weeks with them, and the thought of never seeing them again takes away the value of sleep and personal time. God allowed us to see so much fruit in Savoonga. He opened doors that allowed us to speak into peoples’ lives. People opened up to us, sharing their struggles and expressing their desperation to change. People shared their hurts and pains from incidents outside their control. PRAISE GOD, we were able to encourage them with the hope and promise of Jesus Christ! We helped the community put on a ‘potluck’ and held a worship service afterwards. Youth and young adults came over each night as we sang hymns & worship songs for hours. They are so hungry for more of God! Several young people are even considering joining YWAM in Homer. I was not ready to leave. To be honest, I was praying for a snow storm. [Maybe I wasn’t clear enough that I wanted it in Savoonga, not Minnesota :) ‘I jokes.’] But our plane left on time, as scheduled.
We arrived safely in Gambell, and were welcomed by the cold wind and beautiful landscape! The village is tucked snugly next to a flat-top mountain and gazes over the beautiful Bering Sea. It’s like walking into a picture from a National Geographic Magazine. Matt and I went for a walk along the pea-pebble beach to watch the ice move. Although it sounds a little boring, it is magnificent!! Then we crawled down to the ice heaves and took a few pictures. Walking around the village, especially near the beach, visible piles of bones are everywhere!! In Minnesota, our hunters like to display their trophy’s on their walls. Here, the trophies take up much of room in front of the houses. Imagine leaving the bones from a whale head as a display in your front yard!! One of the locals pointed to one "62 footer" trophy as he shared a story to Matt and I. I wonder if this is doggy heaven?? Or maybe it is doggy hell, never having a chance to bury their treasured bones. Anyway....it seems God prepared the perfect team for this outreach, too! When we first settled into the church here in Gambell, we had no running water. Thankfully, we have a plumber and a few handy men on our team. After Matt’s quick training in soldering, the boys
were able to fix 52 leaks in the pipes!
Our daily schedule is similar to that in Savoonga although it seems we feel more of an urgency to pray and intercede. God has already provided wonderful opportunities to develop relationships. Most of the people we have coming to the church to visit us are kids and young teens. They seem to be very restless and it has been a challenge to keep them interested in anything longer than 10 minutes. They are here for a reason, though, and although it is not outwardly evident, we know they are hungry to learn more about Jesus. Suicidal thoughts and self-hatred are clearly things that hinder young people here! So please join us in praying specifically for breakthrough in these areas.
Every time we wander out in the community, it seems to be a fruitful experience as we always seem to be meeting new people. Today we had the opportunity to visit with many of the elders of Gambell through a daily lunch that is provided to them by the community. Although we had great conversations with the elders and received a few invitations to visit their homes, God used us most to minister to the cooks. We were able to listen to and pray for one lady who has dealt with a lot of loss in her family. She has some incredible testimonies of how God has spoke to her. We look forward to hearing more of her stories and encourage her faith.
Please continue to pray for us and the people of Gambell! I am still fighting a nagging cold, so please pray for healing in that and for both Matt and I to have enough energy each day!! Also, pray for provision of a whale harvest as well as seal & walrus for the community. These people depend on the food from these animals to live through the year. There is a concern and frustration because the weather has not provided any opportunities for hunting. Pray for right winds and full freezers!!
It has been 2 weeks now since the last blog. In the past two weeks, we said "Goodbye" to wonderful new friends in Savoonga and have begun making new friends in Gambell. Our last week in Savoonga was a busy week! It’s hard to believe that you can love people so much after only spending three weeks with them, and the thought of never seeing them again takes away the value of sleep and personal time. God allowed us to see so much fruit in Savoonga. He opened doors that allowed us to speak into peoples’ lives. People opened up to us, sharing their struggles and expressing their desperation to change. People shared their hurts and pains from incidents outside their control. PRAISE GOD, we were able to encourage them with the hope and promise of Jesus Christ! We helped the community put on a ‘potluck’ and held a worship service afterwards. Youth and young adults came over each night as we sang hymns & worship songs for hours. They are so hungry for more of God! Several young people are even considering joining YWAM in Homer. I was not ready to leave. To be honest, I was praying for a snow storm. [Maybe I wasn’t clear enough that I wanted it in Savoonga, not Minnesota :) ‘I jokes.’] But our plane left on time, as scheduled.
We arrived safely in Gambell, and were welcomed by the cold wind and beautiful landscape! The village is tucked snugly next to a flat-top mountain and gazes over the beautiful Bering Sea. It’s like walking into a picture from a National Geographic Magazine. Matt and I went for a walk along the pea-pebble beach to watch the ice move. Although it sounds a little boring, it is magnificent!! Then we crawled down to the ice heaves and took a few pictures. Walking around the village, especially near the beach, visible piles of bones are everywhere!! In Minnesota, our hunters like to display their trophy’s on their walls. Here, the trophies take up much of room in front of the houses. Imagine leaving the bones from a whale head as a display in your front yard!! One of the locals pointed to one "62 footer" trophy as he shared a story to Matt and I. I wonder if this is doggy heaven?? Or maybe it is doggy hell, never having a chance to bury their treasured bones. Anyway....it seems God prepared the perfect team for this outreach, too! When we first settled into the church here in Gambell, we had no running water. Thankfully, we have a plumber and a few handy men on our team. After Matt’s quick training in soldering, the boys
were able to fix 52 leaks in the pipes!
Our daily schedule is similar to that in Savoonga although it seems we feel more of an urgency to pray and intercede. God has already provided wonderful opportunities to develop relationships. Most of the people we have coming to the church to visit us are kids and young teens. They seem to be very restless and it has been a challenge to keep them interested in anything longer than 10 minutes. They are here for a reason, though, and although it is not outwardly evident, we know they are hungry to learn more about Jesus. Suicidal thoughts and self-hatred are clearly things that hinder young people here! So please join us in praying specifically for breakthrough in these areas.
Every time we wander out in the community, it seems to be a fruitful experience as we always seem to be meeting new people. Today we had the opportunity to visit with many of the elders of Gambell through a daily lunch that is provided to them by the community. Although we had great conversations with the elders and received a few invitations to visit their homes, God used us most to minister to the cooks. We were able to listen to and pray for one lady who has dealt with a lot of loss in her family. She has some incredible testimonies of how God has spoke to her. We look forward to hearing more of her stories and encourage her faith.
Please continue to pray for us and the people of Gambell! I am still fighting a nagging cold, so please pray for healing in that and for both Matt and I to have enough energy each day!! Also, pray for provision of a whale harvest as well as seal & walrus for the community. These people depend on the food from these animals to live through the year. There is a concern and frustration because the weather has not provided any opportunities for hunting. Pray for right winds and full freezers!!
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
A not-so-brief summary of our time in Savoonga thus far. . .
Well, hello there. It has been a bit to long since I (Matt) wrote something, so I figured I would take advantage of some down time to update you on week 2 ½. Again as Lindsay said in the last blog, there is so much to write about. So, much happens in each day that it is often surprising to sit back and think about a particular incident, and than realize it was only two days ago instead of a week.
I decided to start with an overview of what we are doing here on a day to day basis. Six days a week we start out our mornings with an hour of quiet time to read scripture, pray, and just spend time with God at about 8:30. We than move into an every other day rotation of group worship or intercessory prayer at 9:30. This is followed by an hour and a half of team time at 10:30. We use this to debrief the previous days activities, take prayer walks, plan events, and anything else that needs to be brought to the whole groups attention.
After lunch we are free to go out and visit people in the community. We have been blessed with many opportunities to visit with people and share God’s word, or even just encourage believers by getting out and visiting in a more personal setting. We have even knocked on a few wrong doors since there is no such thing as road signs, house numbers, or anything to really distinguish one house from another here in Savoonga. Some of the newest houses do have names of the owner on them, but we have heard more than once of 10 or more people living in a house. So, one name outside does not always help. In fact getting directions for how to find someone’s home is a bit comical.
Here is an example of actual directions I received. “You go down by the Head Start building, go to the last row of houses to the west, on the corner you will see a brown dog, you than come back this way (motioning with his hands), and it is the house by the corner.” So, Lindsay and I ventured out to the other end of town in search of a couple that had called the church and asked us to visit. I had found the head start building on a previous walk, and felt confident that I could figure out the house. We headed SW toward the Head Start building, on the corner there was a dog (black and brown), we headed back toward the church (north), and tried the second house from the corner since our understanding was that it was “by” the corner but not the actual corner house. There was no one home though. So, we decided to try the corner house. Also wrong. However, it turned out to be very much God led.
The woman that was there welcomed us in. As she showed us around her house we discovered that she was the mother of two kids that had been coming to the church regularly. We talked to her about her kids, and she showed us all their photos and awards. A connection began to grow with her and we just kept visiting. We ended up listening to her story of battling severe depression a few years ago. She shared with us a book she was writing as well as some heart wrenching poems she had written about feelings she had when she was going through some bad episodes. It was incredible how she opened up to us, and how much she just wanted to be heard. God worked amazingly. We were able to encourage her in her writing, and to encourage her to continue sharing with others. Mostly I think God used us to give her confidence in her desire to write, and use her experiences to help others.
Before leaving we asked how to get to the house we were originally searching for. She directed us to continue back north along the row of houses. “A little ways down we would see a snowmachine (snowmobile) trail that came through the houses, and there would be a brown dog chained up on your left, and their’s is the greenish house on the other side of the trail. That is their house.” We left her house, went down six or seven houses, found the trail, saw the dog (all brown this time), and sure enough there was the house. I learned that day that dogs are very specifically described, and that you have to know your trails (roads) around town pretty well for directions to make sense. There are a lot more corners than one might think.
Where was I.....I believe I was talking about our days. So after school gets out at 3:30 there is usually a stampede of kids coming by the church. Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Sunday there is organized kids ministry in the afternoons. We have been reading them stories from a children’s bible, singing songs, coloring, and anything else we can think of to share Jesus with them. Monday of this week was incredible for me. I discovered that I can not assume anything with these kids. I had been noticing that most if not all of the kids that come by know all the songs we sing and the actions to go with them. This combined with chances I have had to talk with some of the kids about whether or not thier families are christians, and stories some shared about their baptisms after a lesson one day gave me an incorrect perception about what these kids really know.
At the end of our time together on Monday, the three of us that were running kids ministry for the day, decided to break up into groups and pray for the kids. I found it encouraging that they all wanted to pray, and was not to surprised when they wanted me to do all the praying as they offered up things to pray for. I also found it cute that they repeated everything I said which made me have to slow down and pause as they followed along. I than wanted to pray the Our Father with them, and was a bit surprised that not one of them knew it. I prayed it out, and they followed along with me. I assumed that since the kids in my group were between 7 and 12 that they would know the Lord’s Prayer. I then explained what the Lord’s Prayer was actually saying, and they listened very intently. Then the questions started coming. “Where is heaven? Did Jesus die? How old were you when Jesus was here? Did Jesus’ family Die? Has anyone in your family ever died? I was amazed as I sorted through these questions with them. I realized that even though they came from Christian families, attended Sunday school, and memorized a bunch of songs, not all of them had ever really heard the story of Jesus or had anyone to answer their questions. They would just go with the flow of things, and than go home at the end of the time. It has really given me a desire to take every opportunity I have to answer questions, explain prayers and songs, and share more stories about who Jesus is with them.
Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Sunday nights we have scheduled activities for adults and teenagers in the community. Wednesday nights a local teacher has been putting on a bible study, and we are helping with that while we are here. Thursday nights we have a time of community intercession/prayer for Savoonga, Friday we put on a worship service, and Sunday we have a night were we just invite over the teenagers and have small group time. We have also been a part of the Sunday service at the church as well. Some one from the team will be doing the sermon for each week. Lindsay did last Sunday’s sermon, and did a wonderful job.
I shared a short five minute (which actually went 25 minutes) testimony/message at the worship service last Friday. It was incredible and God really blessed me with it. I had the opportunity to share about faith, and was able to use my testimony as well as bible stories to share with them. This led to an opportunity to share with a man that had come by to show us some ivory carvings he had made. Unfortunately, or rather fortunately, for him he caught us in the middle of worship and had to wait patiently until the end to show us his carvings. He sat, followed along with some songs, and than stayed for my not so short message of what God was putting on my heart to share with them. Afterward, he produced his carvings for me and a couple others to look at. He took out some rings, and a necklace piece. All where very nice. Than he took out a small mask carved from whale bone that looked like an Eskimo face, and had fur wrapped around the outside like that on their hoods. This was the only thing that I had been interested in possibly buying after seeing one in Homer, and I had not seen one since we had been here even though two carvers a day come by. After some thinking I decided to buy the mask. It was a fair price, and just seemed a bit like a God thing since I was just sharing about faith and how God wants us to put our trust in Him to provide. Long story short, I ended up talking to him for almost an hour after we got the business end of things out of the way. He had not been to church in many years, and a lot of the things I was sharing seemed to be speaking to him. I heard a lot of the things he is struggling with, and before he left he let me pray for him. As he went he had a big smile on his face, and said he was feeling really good. I think God let me plant some seeds in him, and I pray that he will seek God out some more. Thank you Jesus.
Well I got long winded again. So, I would just like to say that Lindsay and I are doing well. There still seems to be a bit of a cold going around here, and we would like to ask for prayer in that. Otherwise we are just happy to be here serving, and looking forward to the next four weeks. We only have one more week in Savoonga, and then we will spend 3 weeks in Gambell.
I decided to start with an overview of what we are doing here on a day to day basis. Six days a week we start out our mornings with an hour of quiet time to read scripture, pray, and just spend time with God at about 8:30. We than move into an every other day rotation of group worship or intercessory prayer at 9:30. This is followed by an hour and a half of team time at 10:30. We use this to debrief the previous days activities, take prayer walks, plan events, and anything else that needs to be brought to the whole groups attention.
After lunch we are free to go out and visit people in the community. We have been blessed with many opportunities to visit with people and share God’s word, or even just encourage believers by getting out and visiting in a more personal setting. We have even knocked on a few wrong doors since there is no such thing as road signs, house numbers, or anything to really distinguish one house from another here in Savoonga. Some of the newest houses do have names of the owner on them, but we have heard more than once of 10 or more people living in a house. So, one name outside does not always help. In fact getting directions for how to find someone’s home is a bit comical.
Here is an example of actual directions I received. “You go down by the Head Start building, go to the last row of houses to the west, on the corner you will see a brown dog, you than come back this way (motioning with his hands), and it is the house by the corner.” So, Lindsay and I ventured out to the other end of town in search of a couple that had called the church and asked us to visit. I had found the head start building on a previous walk, and felt confident that I could figure out the house. We headed SW toward the Head Start building, on the corner there was a dog (black and brown), we headed back toward the church (north), and tried the second house from the corner since our understanding was that it was “by” the corner but not the actual corner house. There was no one home though. So, we decided to try the corner house. Also wrong. However, it turned out to be very much God led.
The woman that was there welcomed us in. As she showed us around her house we discovered that she was the mother of two kids that had been coming to the church regularly. We talked to her about her kids, and she showed us all their photos and awards. A connection began to grow with her and we just kept visiting. We ended up listening to her story of battling severe depression a few years ago. She shared with us a book she was writing as well as some heart wrenching poems she had written about feelings she had when she was going through some bad episodes. It was incredible how she opened up to us, and how much she just wanted to be heard. God worked amazingly. We were able to encourage her in her writing, and to encourage her to continue sharing with others. Mostly I think God used us to give her confidence in her desire to write, and use her experiences to help others.
Before leaving we asked how to get to the house we were originally searching for. She directed us to continue back north along the row of houses. “A little ways down we would see a snowmachine (snowmobile) trail that came through the houses, and there would be a brown dog chained up on your left, and their’s is the greenish house on the other side of the trail. That is their house.” We left her house, went down six or seven houses, found the trail, saw the dog (all brown this time), and sure enough there was the house. I learned that day that dogs are very specifically described, and that you have to know your trails (roads) around town pretty well for directions to make sense. There are a lot more corners than one might think.
Where was I.....I believe I was talking about our days. So after school gets out at 3:30 there is usually a stampede of kids coming by the church. Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Sunday there is organized kids ministry in the afternoons. We have been reading them stories from a children’s bible, singing songs, coloring, and anything else we can think of to share Jesus with them. Monday of this week was incredible for me. I discovered that I can not assume anything with these kids. I had been noticing that most if not all of the kids that come by know all the songs we sing and the actions to go with them. This combined with chances I have had to talk with some of the kids about whether or not thier families are christians, and stories some shared about their baptisms after a lesson one day gave me an incorrect perception about what these kids really know.
At the end of our time together on Monday, the three of us that were running kids ministry for the day, decided to break up into groups and pray for the kids. I found it encouraging that they all wanted to pray, and was not to surprised when they wanted me to do all the praying as they offered up things to pray for. I also found it cute that they repeated everything I said which made me have to slow down and pause as they followed along. I than wanted to pray the Our Father with them, and was a bit surprised that not one of them knew it. I prayed it out, and they followed along with me. I assumed that since the kids in my group were between 7 and 12 that they would know the Lord’s Prayer. I then explained what the Lord’s Prayer was actually saying, and they listened very intently. Then the questions started coming. “Where is heaven? Did Jesus die? How old were you when Jesus was here? Did Jesus’ family Die? Has anyone in your family ever died? I was amazed as I sorted through these questions with them. I realized that even though they came from Christian families, attended Sunday school, and memorized a bunch of songs, not all of them had ever really heard the story of Jesus or had anyone to answer their questions. They would just go with the flow of things, and than go home at the end of the time. It has really given me a desire to take every opportunity I have to answer questions, explain prayers and songs, and share more stories about who Jesus is with them.
Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Sunday nights we have scheduled activities for adults and teenagers in the community. Wednesday nights a local teacher has been putting on a bible study, and we are helping with that while we are here. Thursday nights we have a time of community intercession/prayer for Savoonga, Friday we put on a worship service, and Sunday we have a night were we just invite over the teenagers and have small group time. We have also been a part of the Sunday service at the church as well. Some one from the team will be doing the sermon for each week. Lindsay did last Sunday’s sermon, and did a wonderful job.
I shared a short five minute (which actually went 25 minutes) testimony/message at the worship service last Friday. It was incredible and God really blessed me with it. I had the opportunity to share about faith, and was able to use my testimony as well as bible stories to share with them. This led to an opportunity to share with a man that had come by to show us some ivory carvings he had made. Unfortunately, or rather fortunately, for him he caught us in the middle of worship and had to wait patiently until the end to show us his carvings. He sat, followed along with some songs, and than stayed for my not so short message of what God was putting on my heart to share with them. Afterward, he produced his carvings for me and a couple others to look at. He took out some rings, and a necklace piece. All where very nice. Than he took out a small mask carved from whale bone that looked like an Eskimo face, and had fur wrapped around the outside like that on their hoods. This was the only thing that I had been interested in possibly buying after seeing one in Homer, and I had not seen one since we had been here even though two carvers a day come by. After some thinking I decided to buy the mask. It was a fair price, and just seemed a bit like a God thing since I was just sharing about faith and how God wants us to put our trust in Him to provide. Long story short, I ended up talking to him for almost an hour after we got the business end of things out of the way. He had not been to church in many years, and a lot of the things I was sharing seemed to be speaking to him. I heard a lot of the things he is struggling with, and before he left he let me pray for him. As he went he had a big smile on his face, and said he was feeling really good. I think God let me plant some seeds in him, and I pray that he will seek God out some more. Thank you Jesus.
Well I got long winded again. So, I would just like to say that Lindsay and I are doing well. There still seems to be a bit of a cold going around here, and we would like to ask for prayer in that. Otherwise we are just happy to be here serving, and looking forward to the next four weeks. We only have one more week in Savoonga, and then we will spend 3 weeks in Gambell.
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
First impressions & experiences in Savoonga
We landed on the beautiful island of St. Lawrence one week ago (Tuesday), and were greeted and welcomed by many excited people in Savoonga. If I (Lindsay) could describe the physical appearance of this place, it would definately include “WHITE.” On overcast days, it is hard to tell the snowy horizon apart from the sky. The ocean is frozen and covered with white snow. The only indication that it is ocean instead of land is the chunks of ice that build up. On the other side of the village, are the mountains. Looking toward them makes me feel like I am near the top of the world. Because the mountains are completely snow covered, the horizon is higher than where I expect it to be. It’s almost as if the mountain tops are just floating in the sky where the clouds should be. White snowmobile tracks indicate ‘roads.’ I quickly learned to stay on the road. The few times I have wandered off it, I found myself stuck in thigh deep snow. Buildings seem to provide the only color to the village. Most of them are simple houses. The church building we are staying in appears to be located on the older part of town. Although it seems the buildings here were once painted, most of the color has faded or chipped off and ‘plywood brown’ is the most common color. The newer houses located on the other side of town sport the pastel colored siding.
It’s hard to believe we have only been here one week, not because time is going slow but because so much happens every day. The Lord has truly blessed us with open doors. The kids are always looking for something to do and somewhere to hang out. They are all so precious and we want to love them and pour into them, but they seem to wear us out quickly. It has taken a week to establish simple discipline. The youth are so much fun!! It seems they know this is a safe place for them. They have been so open and vulnerable with the issues they struggle with and express a desire to change and find strength to overcome. Vanessa, a shy 15 year old girl, gave her heart to Jesus the other night, and it has been encouraging to see the joy that is now so evident. She has truly found new life–she just SHINES! Ahh...there is SO MUCH to write about.....
The elders. The elders of the church and community are very spiritual people. All those that we have met truly know and love the Lord. This past Sunday, during church, they sang two Yupik worship songs for us and God’s presence was felt in a powerful way. We learned that many of their Yupik songs were given to them through dreams. Most of them are simple translations to scriptures, some which came even before they knew scripture!
We have definitely received a taste of the culture already! We have eaten bearded seal (both raw and cooked). Matt compares the taste and texture to a cow feeding on salmon. We also tasted ‘mung tuk’ which is a slice of whale skin with blubber (again, both raw and cooked). We enjoyed them both! Currently, many of the men have gone to the whale camp on the south side of the island. The whaling season is a big part of the year’s provision of food. Before whaling season starts, the community meets and holds a church service. It is clear they see it as a provision from God. Last night we received word that they had killed a small (if there is such a thing) Bowhead whale. It is said that whenever a whale is killed, that a light fluffy snow falls. This indicates that the whale has given itself as a sacrifice for the life of the village. Sure enough, last night and this morning, the winds stopped blowing and a light, fluffy snow settled on the ground. Today, we are praising God for His faithfulness!
Saturday night, we joined the community in an ‘atuq’ (pronounced ah-toke), also called in English ‘Eskimo dance.’ It was INCREDIBLE!!! I got to wear my new cuspik–a traditional top for women. About 10 men sat in front with their drums made of seal or walrus stomach. They sang as they drummed, while others danced. Each song has a specific dance that tells a story. Although we certainly didn’t know the dances, we were invited to try. It was so much fun. The women’s dance is very stationary, moving mostly their upper body using very elegant hand motions. The men have much more freedom in movement. Both Matt and I enjoyed trying to follow along with their movements. Our team’s willingness to try seemed very much appreciated by those there.
We only have 2 more weeks here in Savoonga before we travel to the next village. Please continue to lift us and this community up in your prayers. Pray for Matt, as he is recovering from a cold. Pray for our team’s energy to meet the kids needs. Pray for more open doors and opportunities to share the love of Christ, especially in the adult (25-40 y/o) generation. Thanks!!!
It’s hard to believe we have only been here one week, not because time is going slow but because so much happens every day. The Lord has truly blessed us with open doors. The kids are always looking for something to do and somewhere to hang out. They are all so precious and we want to love them and pour into them, but they seem to wear us out quickly. It has taken a week to establish simple discipline. The youth are so much fun!! It seems they know this is a safe place for them. They have been so open and vulnerable with the issues they struggle with and express a desire to change and find strength to overcome. Vanessa, a shy 15 year old girl, gave her heart to Jesus the other night, and it has been encouraging to see the joy that is now so evident. She has truly found new life–she just SHINES! Ahh...there is SO MUCH to write about.....
The elders. The elders of the church and community are very spiritual people. All those that we have met truly know and love the Lord. This past Sunday, during church, they sang two Yupik worship songs for us and God’s presence was felt in a powerful way. We learned that many of their Yupik songs were given to them through dreams. Most of them are simple translations to scriptures, some which came even before they knew scripture!
We have definitely received a taste of the culture already! We have eaten bearded seal (both raw and cooked). Matt compares the taste and texture to a cow feeding on salmon. We also tasted ‘mung tuk’ which is a slice of whale skin with blubber (again, both raw and cooked). We enjoyed them both! Currently, many of the men have gone to the whale camp on the south side of the island. The whaling season is a big part of the year’s provision of food. Before whaling season starts, the community meets and holds a church service. It is clear they see it as a provision from God. Last night we received word that they had killed a small (if there is such a thing) Bowhead whale. It is said that whenever a whale is killed, that a light fluffy snow falls. This indicates that the whale has given itself as a sacrifice for the life of the village. Sure enough, last night and this morning, the winds stopped blowing and a light, fluffy snow settled on the ground. Today, we are praising God for His faithfulness!
Saturday night, we joined the community in an ‘atuq’ (pronounced ah-toke), also called in English ‘Eskimo dance.’ It was INCREDIBLE!!! I got to wear my new cuspik–a traditional top for women. About 10 men sat in front with their drums made of seal or walrus stomach. They sang as they drummed, while others danced. Each song has a specific dance that tells a story. Although we certainly didn’t know the dances, we were invited to try. It was so much fun. The women’s dance is very stationary, moving mostly their upper body using very elegant hand motions. The men have much more freedom in movement. Both Matt and I enjoyed trying to follow along with their movements. Our team’s willingness to try seemed very much appreciated by those there.
We only have 2 more weeks here in Savoonga before we travel to the next village. Please continue to lift us and this community up in your prayers. Pray for Matt, as he is recovering from a cold. Pray for our team’s energy to meet the kids needs. Pray for more open doors and opportunities to share the love of Christ, especially in the adult (25-40 y/o) generation. Thanks!!!
Monday, March 31, 2008
Northern Exposure
Well, today is our first day of 'outreach.' We got up EARLY (3:00am) to catch a 6:00am flight to Nome. Our flight first took us to Kotzabue, a city just northeast of Nome inside the arctic circle! We dropped half the plane off and picked up a few others and took off for Nome. We circled above Nome for a while. The pilot said the tail wind was too strong so we were waiting for the o.k. to make our landing on an alternative runway. We slowly began our decent, and just as slowly returned to higher altitude. The visibility had deteriorated. We floated in the air for another 10 minutes hoping the weather would show us favor. NOPE, back to Anchorage (our starting point). We returned to the Anchorage airport at 10:30am and rushed to the next gate to catch the next plane. We boarded, and SAT for an hour until they realized conditions were not improving in Nome. We are now in Anchorage waiting for a 5:30pm flight. Our own research reveals a winter storm warning for Nome and the island in effect until tomorrow night.
Flexibility turns out to be a great asset, whether in SE Asia or Alaska.
Flexibility turns out to be a great asset, whether in SE Asia or Alaska.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Contact Info
We can be reached in Savoonga and Gamble these next 2 months!! We WILL BE in the US, and the US Postal Service is reliable, just a tad bit slower. Give mail an average of 2 weeks.
We will be at our first location until APRIL 22nd:
Savoonga Presbyterian Church
c/o YWAM - Matt & Lindsay Freeland
PO Box 119
Savoonga, AK 99769
From April 23rd - May 16th, send mail to:
Gambell Presbyterian Church
c/o YWAM - Matt & Lindsay Freeland
PO Box 136
Gambell, AK 99742
Packages are welcome!! We will be working with kids a lot so any kind of treats/candy would be great or Fun/creative art supplies. The elderly ladies appreciate personal, handmade items. Lindsay hopes to be able to crochet doily's as personal gifts. If anyone would like to send any handmade items (esp doily's), just attatch a note of who made it so we can share it's story. Hand towels, work gloves, fragrant lotions are also practical items we can give as gifts.
We are not sure if we will have access to internet or not. If we do, you can be sure that we will let you know how we are doing!! Otherwise, check back the end of May! Thanks for your continued support and prayers!!
Love, Matt and Lindsay
P.S. BE SURE to check the picture page for the latest snapshots.
We will be at our first location until APRIL 22nd:
Savoonga Presbyterian Church
c/o YWAM - Matt & Lindsay Freeland
PO Box 119
Savoonga, AK 99769
From April 23rd - May 16th, send mail to:
Gambell Presbyterian Church
c/o YWAM - Matt & Lindsay Freeland
PO Box 136
Gambell, AK 99742
Packages are welcome!! We will be working with kids a lot so any kind of treats/candy would be great or Fun/creative art supplies. The elderly ladies appreciate personal, handmade items. Lindsay hopes to be able to crochet doily's as personal gifts. If anyone would like to send any handmade items (esp doily's), just attatch a note of who made it so we can share it's story. Hand towels, work gloves, fragrant lotions are also practical items we can give as gifts.
We are not sure if we will have access to internet or not. If we do, you can be sure that we will let you know how we are doing!! Otherwise, check back the end of May! Thanks for your continued support and prayers!!
Love, Matt and Lindsay
P.S. BE SURE to check the picture page for the latest snapshots.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
next stop: St Lawrence Island.
Where does the time go??
These first 3 months in Homer have cruised by way too fast!! It has been a GREAT time for us. Because of the environment, it seems Matt and I have grown so much as a couple. There has been no where for either of us to escape to when conflict arises, and we've been forced to face issues that otherwise would have been walked off and buried. It has been really good for us. I absolutely love my husband, and it has been such a blessing to see and be a part of his personal growth as well. I am in such good hands. Matt's wisdom, his leadership, his compassion, and his service continue to blow my mind!
What's next for us??
In less than 2 weeks, Matt and I will be on our way to St. Lawrence Island. Here is a quick geographical lesson to pass on about St. Lawrence Island. It is part of Alaska (and therefore America). It is located just south of the Bering Straight and only 35 miles from the Russian Coast! The Island has NO TREES and pretty high winds. Only 2 village towns are located on the island, and we will be spending time in both Savoonga and Gambell. The people are mostly Siberian Yupik (a type of Eskimo) who live on sustinance hunting. The main prey includes whale, seal, walrus, and fish. Alcoholism, sexual abuse, depression, and suicide are some of the widespread social issues. Shamanism is still practiced on the island.
Although it sounds like a lot of darkness has settled over the land, we are so excited to get to know these people! They are relational and beautiful. I can't wait to hear their stories and develop relationships with them!! Basketball is a daily activity in the village, so I am also looking forward to getting back in shape. It sounds like they've never really let girls play, so I am a bit nervous. I hope to earn their respect and open new doors.
Please continue to lift us and the island up in prayer!! Although I don't fully understand how prayer works, I know it does. I know with out it, things are a lot harder! Pray for unity among our team, protection over us as a married couple, and pray for our leaders Jeremy, Marie, and Melanie. Pray for Grace over us as we cross cultures. Pray for the Yupik people: for freedom from addictions, for healing, for joy, and for revelation of Jesus!!! Thank you all so much!!
These first 3 months in Homer have cruised by way too fast!! It has been a GREAT time for us. Because of the environment, it seems Matt and I have grown so much as a couple. There has been no where for either of us to escape to when conflict arises, and we've been forced to face issues that otherwise would have been walked off and buried. It has been really good for us. I absolutely love my husband, and it has been such a blessing to see and be a part of his personal growth as well. I am in such good hands. Matt's wisdom, his leadership, his compassion, and his service continue to blow my mind!
What's next for us??
In less than 2 weeks, Matt and I will be on our way to St. Lawrence Island. Here is a quick geographical lesson to pass on about St. Lawrence Island. It is part of Alaska (and therefore America). It is located just south of the Bering Straight and only 35 miles from the Russian Coast! The Island has NO TREES and pretty high winds. Only 2 village towns are located on the island, and we will be spending time in both Savoonga and Gambell. The people are mostly Siberian Yupik (a type of Eskimo) who live on sustinance hunting. The main prey includes whale, seal, walrus, and fish. Alcoholism, sexual abuse, depression, and suicide are some of the widespread social issues. Shamanism is still practiced on the island.
Although it sounds like a lot of darkness has settled over the land, we are so excited to get to know these people! They are relational and beautiful. I can't wait to hear their stories and develop relationships with them!! Basketball is a daily activity in the village, so I am also looking forward to getting back in shape. It sounds like they've never really let girls play, so I am a bit nervous. I hope to earn their respect and open new doors.
Please continue to lift us and the island up in prayer!! Although I don't fully understand how prayer works, I know it does. I know with out it, things are a lot harder! Pray for unity among our team, protection over us as a married couple, and pray for our leaders Jeremy, Marie, and Melanie. Pray for Grace over us as we cross cultures. Pray for the Yupik people: for freedom from addictions, for healing, for joy, and for revelation of Jesus!!! Thank you all so much!!
Saturday, March 8, 2008
An Attempt to Tell My Story/Testimony
I grew up attending church with my family. I was baptised, had my first confession, first communion, and went through conformation. I went through all the steps that I believed I needed to do to be a good christian and a good catholic. I went to Wednesday night church school. I prayed the Our Father, Hail Mary, and the Glory Be. However, I seemed to be missing something rather big along the way. But what was it?
After conformation I began my drift away from the church and away from God. I became a 'Cheaster' as we called it. I only went to church on Christmas and Easter, or important events. I went through a season of about seven years where God not only felt distant, but at times even nonexistent. I went through a cycle of being mad at God, during which a lot of insecurities and frustrations poured out. I then hit a point where I questioned God's existence. I believed atheistic ideas that came out of college professor's mouths. At that time in my life it was very easy to buy into the things they were saying because of the distance that I had put between God and I. I bought into evolution and the "Big Bang Theory" ways of thinking. Then as cycles go, I was brought back to where I started. I was sitting around one day and a question popped into my head. "What went bang?" "Well, I don't know what went bang. No one ever really answered that before. I mean how could something have exploded and started the creation of matter if there was nothing," I thought. "As far as I know you can't make something from nothing. Everything you make has to start from something, unless your God." Ohh, a light bulb kicked on for me that day, but it was a bit dim. For the first time though, I started looking at this world as a miracle. I took on a new appreciation for everything around me. I started to believe again. However, it just brought me back around to where I started. Upset with God. I believed in God's existence again, but did not feel like He was too interested in me. I began to rationalize God. From the little I actually knew about God at the time, I formed a comfortable, logical, well thought out picture of God. To me He had become a distant, uncaring, uninvolved, judgemental God. He created the world and then took a vacation to see what we would do with it. That is how I had perceived my experiences with God up to that time.
It was not until I started struggling with my job at the St. Cloud Police Department that I started to pursue God, or rather, as I know now, I recognized God's pursuit of me. Jesus says in John 6:44, "No one can come to me unless the Father who has sent me draws him..." Even though I had given up on God, He had never given up on me. He had been working to draw me back to Him that whole time. It was not until the little world I had tried to build was falling apart that I recognized His pursuit in my heart. He was my last resort as I struggled to figure out why nothing felt right about what I was doing. I started praying the prayers I knew again. I had a prayer I read before I went to work each day, and I even started praying out my frustrations a bit. It was at this time that I saw God answer my biggest prayer.
At this time it just so happened that Lindsay had come home from her YWAM DTS. I had feelings for Lindsay prior to her return, but I never pursued her. Timing and distance always kept me from stepping out and taking a risk, or maybe it gave me an excuse. I am still not to sure on that. I can look back now, though, and see God's timing in this. My heart wasn't really ready for God, but I needed Him. As Lindsay and I started to catch up and eventually start dating, God began using her. She began to stand in the gap between God and I. She prayed for me in a way I had never thought to pray before. She was there when I needed to talk, she supported me, she was a friend, and she loved me before she ever LOVED me. She was a reflection of who God really is.
I began going back to church with her. We went to a variety of different services. Including an outdoor service at Sibley State Park. I really liked the idea of getting outside of a building into God's creation to spend Sundays with Him. She also brought me with her to her college church in Fridley, MN for the worship service. It came complete with full band, people standing and clapping, waving flags, and of course a good AMEN or two out of the crowd at random times. It was a bit different for me, but I loved it. I also found myself meeting a lot of people at this time that would help me a lot over the ten months that Lindsay would be returning to Bangladesh.
The day came when Lindsay had to get on a plane for Bangladesh, and I had to get started on something. I had finally figured out what the big thing was that I seemed to be missing along the way during my childhood. A personal relationship with God. I began reading the bible again, and was hit with such strong emotions again and again as I read it. I was hungry for answers, and hungry to know God. I started reading some books that were recommended to me, and the Word started taking on even more meaning. Most importantly, I began to finally start seeing who Jesus really was, and what it meant to follow Him.
It wasn't long after this that I found myself on a mission trip to Ensenada, Mexico with a group of people I had only met a couple of times before from Lindsay's church in Fridley, MN. I was going to get a taste of missions, and to see a little bit about YWAM since they were hosting our Homes of Hope trip in Ensenada. I got rocked over that week. The very first morning we were there I had a life changing experience. We went to a local church that morning for their Sunday service. It just felt like there was electricity in the air form the time I got there. They had a full worship band and the place was filled with a few hundred people. I found myself trying to follow along with the songs the best I could using what little spanish I remembered from high school. I was having fun as words and phrases were coming back to me, and was feeling pretty good about remembering so much from classes I had six years before. Then their guest speaker for the day came out. He told us an amazing story of overcoming drugs and other hardships as he grew up, and how God had saved him. He was there to speak on family and bringing Jesus into your marriage, family, etc. I found myself praying toward the end of it, and than with out really noticing the transition, I heard him start speaking to us as individuals. He started down a line of questions that I wish I could remember in more detail, but it came down to us bringing Jesus into our lives. I remember him asking the crowd to close their eyes. Then he asked some things and asked those who wanted them to raise their hands. So I did. He then spoke some more and tears started running down my face uncontrollably. He asked us to stand if we wanted these things in our lives so I stood up. So there I was, arm raised, standing up, eyes closed, and tears running down my face when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I opened my eyes to see one of the group members behind me and only a dozen or so people standing in the crowd. I had expected to see everyone standing since what he was saying was so good. After a few moments of feeling self conscious, those of us that were standing prayed. I then received that relationship I was missing for so long as I accepted Jesus into my life, and I have been working with Him to strengthen it ever since.
Now, I find myself in Homer, Alaska. I am married, going through a Discipleship Training School with YWAM, and still getting rocked every week by God. There is just so much to Him. There is a depth I never knew, and I am loving having this opportunity to get to grow in that relationship
After conformation I began my drift away from the church and away from God. I became a 'Cheaster' as we called it. I only went to church on Christmas and Easter, or important events. I went through a season of about seven years where God not only felt distant, but at times even nonexistent. I went through a cycle of being mad at God, during which a lot of insecurities and frustrations poured out. I then hit a point where I questioned God's existence. I believed atheistic ideas that came out of college professor's mouths. At that time in my life it was very easy to buy into the things they were saying because of the distance that I had put between God and I. I bought into evolution and the "Big Bang Theory" ways of thinking. Then as cycles go, I was brought back to where I started. I was sitting around one day and a question popped into my head. "What went bang?" "Well, I don't know what went bang. No one ever really answered that before. I mean how could something have exploded and started the creation of matter if there was nothing," I thought. "As far as I know you can't make something from nothing. Everything you make has to start from something, unless your God." Ohh, a light bulb kicked on for me that day, but it was a bit dim. For the first time though, I started looking at this world as a miracle. I took on a new appreciation for everything around me. I started to believe again. However, it just brought me back around to where I started. Upset with God. I believed in God's existence again, but did not feel like He was too interested in me. I began to rationalize God. From the little I actually knew about God at the time, I formed a comfortable, logical, well thought out picture of God. To me He had become a distant, uncaring, uninvolved, judgemental God. He created the world and then took a vacation to see what we would do with it. That is how I had perceived my experiences with God up to that time.
It was not until I started struggling with my job at the St. Cloud Police Department that I started to pursue God, or rather, as I know now, I recognized God's pursuit of me. Jesus says in John 6:44, "No one can come to me unless the Father who has sent me draws him..." Even though I had given up on God, He had never given up on me. He had been working to draw me back to Him that whole time. It was not until the little world I had tried to build was falling apart that I recognized His pursuit in my heart. He was my last resort as I struggled to figure out why nothing felt right about what I was doing. I started praying the prayers I knew again. I had a prayer I read before I went to work each day, and I even started praying out my frustrations a bit. It was at this time that I saw God answer my biggest prayer.
At this time it just so happened that Lindsay had come home from her YWAM DTS. I had feelings for Lindsay prior to her return, but I never pursued her. Timing and distance always kept me from stepping out and taking a risk, or maybe it gave me an excuse. I am still not to sure on that. I can look back now, though, and see God's timing in this. My heart wasn't really ready for God, but I needed Him. As Lindsay and I started to catch up and eventually start dating, God began using her. She began to stand in the gap between God and I. She prayed for me in a way I had never thought to pray before. She was there when I needed to talk, she supported me, she was a friend, and she loved me before she ever LOVED me. She was a reflection of who God really is.
I began going back to church with her. We went to a variety of different services. Including an outdoor service at Sibley State Park. I really liked the idea of getting outside of a building into God's creation to spend Sundays with Him. She also brought me with her to her college church in Fridley, MN for the worship service. It came complete with full band, people standing and clapping, waving flags, and of course a good AMEN or two out of the crowd at random times. It was a bit different for me, but I loved it. I also found myself meeting a lot of people at this time that would help me a lot over the ten months that Lindsay would be returning to Bangladesh.
The day came when Lindsay had to get on a plane for Bangladesh, and I had to get started on something. I had finally figured out what the big thing was that I seemed to be missing along the way during my childhood. A personal relationship with God. I began reading the bible again, and was hit with such strong emotions again and again as I read it. I was hungry for answers, and hungry to know God. I started reading some books that were recommended to me, and the Word started taking on even more meaning. Most importantly, I began to finally start seeing who Jesus really was, and what it meant to follow Him.
It wasn't long after this that I found myself on a mission trip to Ensenada, Mexico with a group of people I had only met a couple of times before from Lindsay's church in Fridley, MN. I was going to get a taste of missions, and to see a little bit about YWAM since they were hosting our Homes of Hope trip in Ensenada. I got rocked over that week. The very first morning we were there I had a life changing experience. We went to a local church that morning for their Sunday service. It just felt like there was electricity in the air form the time I got there. They had a full worship band and the place was filled with a few hundred people. I found myself trying to follow along with the songs the best I could using what little spanish I remembered from high school. I was having fun as words and phrases were coming back to me, and was feeling pretty good about remembering so much from classes I had six years before. Then their guest speaker for the day came out. He told us an amazing story of overcoming drugs and other hardships as he grew up, and how God had saved him. He was there to speak on family and bringing Jesus into your marriage, family, etc. I found myself praying toward the end of it, and than with out really noticing the transition, I heard him start speaking to us as individuals. He started down a line of questions that I wish I could remember in more detail, but it came down to us bringing Jesus into our lives. I remember him asking the crowd to close their eyes. Then he asked some things and asked those who wanted them to raise their hands. So I did. He then spoke some more and tears started running down my face uncontrollably. He asked us to stand if we wanted these things in our lives so I stood up. So there I was, arm raised, standing up, eyes closed, and tears running down my face when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I opened my eyes to see one of the group members behind me and only a dozen or so people standing in the crowd. I had expected to see everyone standing since what he was saying was so good. After a few moments of feeling self conscious, those of us that were standing prayed. I then received that relationship I was missing for so long as I accepted Jesus into my life, and I have been working with Him to strengthen it ever since.
Now, I find myself in Homer, Alaska. I am married, going through a Discipleship Training School with YWAM, and still getting rocked every week by God. There is just so much to Him. There is a depth I never knew, and I am loving having this opportunity to get to grow in that relationship
Saturday, March 1, 2008
Something more personal.
I have been feeling driven to share something a bit more personal. The last couple weeks have had me really thinking about the changes taking place in me and those around me. More so, I have been feeling led to share a bit more about myself and my relationship with God. I have never really done this before, and I think God might be prompting me to look deeper into who I am as I look deeper into who He is. So, this is the first of a few blogs I have written up over the last two weeks.
What do people think of you?
Have you ever stopped and asked yourself this question? If you are like me, than you probably have not asked it directly, yet you are probably evaluating the answer every day without realizing it. An example might be worrying about being late. Why do we worry about that? For me it is because I don't want others to see me as rude or disrespectful. We bite our tongues instead of confronting someone about a problem right away. Why? Because many of us don't want conflict. We don't want to be viewed as "oversensitive, jerks, nags," or whatever you want to associate with conflict. Maybe more so for me, but I think you set yourself up to be vulnerable at these times. People get to see into the deeper workings of who you are as you explain why something is bothering you. It is a little scary to be transparent with people. You don't want them to see your faults, dreams, beliefs, or anything that might make you different than who YOU think that THEY think you are. Yet conflict is good. There is so much freedom in getting things off your chest. Mark 11:25 says, "And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive your sins." So, we are supposed to go out and resolve our conflicts with others. It is so important that we are supposed to stop worshiping and go be reconciled, and than come back to God. (Matthew 5:23-24) Yet so often we don't.
A question I have been hearing around here lately, and a question I have now been asking myself is "What do I tell people back home about the changes going on with me?" How do you share the things you are learning about yourself without feeling vulnerable? It is a tough struggle to be truly transparent with people who have known you most of your life. Yet, they have only seen a portion of who you are. For example, anyone that has been in a car with me over the last few years knows that I have been anything but loving towards other drivers that I view as doing something wrong. So, it is hard to admit, now, that God has been breaking my heart for people and that daily He is reminding me to lay down judgement and just love people (especially other drivers). Mark 12:30-31 the greatest commandment says, " Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: Love your neighbor as yourself." I have read this before, but not too long ago I looked at this and thought "oh crap." I judged (Matthew 7:1-2) and got mad at others every time that I left the house, and that is just the start of my failings to love others. Yet there is Jesus himself saying love God and love your neighbor. 'Uffda! I got some work ahead of me,' I thought. As I said earlier, I still have to lay my frustrations, angers, and judgements at his feet daily. However, I am realizing that it is not so much me that is working, but God working on me.
Again, though, how do I tell people back home about these things? Especially the much deeper things, and the things others may not understand without experiencing it first hand. So, I have decided to start with my story (testimony) that has led me here, and let God guide me through sharing. My story is not something I have shared a lot with people, but I think I am being prompted to start. So, I will be writing a bit more as I have time over the next few days. Thanks for your prayers and support. Matt.
p.s. There are some new pictures.
What do people think of you?
Have you ever stopped and asked yourself this question? If you are like me, than you probably have not asked it directly, yet you are probably evaluating the answer every day without realizing it. An example might be worrying about being late. Why do we worry about that? For me it is because I don't want others to see me as rude or disrespectful. We bite our tongues instead of confronting someone about a problem right away. Why? Because many of us don't want conflict. We don't want to be viewed as "oversensitive, jerks, nags," or whatever you want to associate with conflict. Maybe more so for me, but I think you set yourself up to be vulnerable at these times. People get to see into the deeper workings of who you are as you explain why something is bothering you. It is a little scary to be transparent with people. You don't want them to see your faults, dreams, beliefs, or anything that might make you different than who YOU think that THEY think you are. Yet conflict is good. There is so much freedom in getting things off your chest. Mark 11:25 says, "And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive your sins." So, we are supposed to go out and resolve our conflicts with others. It is so important that we are supposed to stop worshiping and go be reconciled, and than come back to God. (Matthew 5:23-24) Yet so often we don't.
A question I have been hearing around here lately, and a question I have now been asking myself is "What do I tell people back home about the changes going on with me?" How do you share the things you are learning about yourself without feeling vulnerable? It is a tough struggle to be truly transparent with people who have known you most of your life. Yet, they have only seen a portion of who you are. For example, anyone that has been in a car with me over the last few years knows that I have been anything but loving towards other drivers that I view as doing something wrong. So, it is hard to admit, now, that God has been breaking my heart for people and that daily He is reminding me to lay down judgement and just love people (especially other drivers). Mark 12:30-31 the greatest commandment says, " Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: Love your neighbor as yourself." I have read this before, but not too long ago I looked at this and thought "oh crap." I judged (Matthew 7:1-2) and got mad at others every time that I left the house, and that is just the start of my failings to love others. Yet there is Jesus himself saying love God and love your neighbor. 'Uffda! I got some work ahead of me,' I thought. As I said earlier, I still have to lay my frustrations, angers, and judgements at his feet daily. However, I am realizing that it is not so much me that is working, but God working on me.
Again, though, how do I tell people back home about these things? Especially the much deeper things, and the things others may not understand without experiencing it first hand. So, I have decided to start with my story (testimony) that has led me here, and let God guide me through sharing. My story is not something I have shared a lot with people, but I think I am being prompted to start. So, I will be writing a bit more as I have time over the next few days. Thanks for your prayers and support. Matt.
p.s. There are some new pictures.
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