We landed on the beautiful island of St. Lawrence one week ago (Tuesday), and were greeted and welcomed by many excited people in Savoonga. If I (Lindsay) could describe the physical appearance of this place, it would definately include “WHITE.” On overcast days, it is hard to tell the snowy horizon apart from the sky. The ocean is frozen and covered with white snow. The only indication that it is ocean instead of land is the chunks of ice that build up. On the other side of the village, are the mountains. Looking toward them makes me feel like I am near the top of the world. Because the mountains are completely snow covered, the horizon is higher than where I expect it to be. It’s almost as if the mountain tops are just floating in the sky where the clouds should be. White snowmobile tracks indicate ‘roads.’ I quickly learned to stay on the road. The few times I have wandered off it, I found myself stuck in thigh deep snow. Buildings seem to provide the only color to the village. Most of them are simple houses. The church building we are staying in appears to be located on the older part of town. Although it seems the buildings here were once painted, most of the color has faded or chipped off and ‘plywood brown’ is the most common color. The newer houses located on the other side of town sport the pastel colored siding.
It’s hard to believe we have only been here one week, not because time is going slow but because so much happens every day. The Lord has truly blessed us with open doors. The kids are always looking for something to do and somewhere to hang out. They are all so precious and we want to love them and pour into them, but they seem to wear us out quickly. It has taken a week to establish simple discipline. The youth are so much fun!! It seems they know this is a safe place for them. They have been so open and vulnerable with the issues they struggle with and express a desire to change and find strength to overcome. Vanessa, a shy 15 year old girl, gave her heart to Jesus the other night, and it has been encouraging to see the joy that is now so evident. She has truly found new life–she just SHINES! Ahh...there is SO MUCH to write about.....
The elders. The elders of the church and community are very spiritual people. All those that we have met truly know and love the Lord. This past Sunday, during church, they sang two Yupik worship songs for us and God’s presence was felt in a powerful way. We learned that many of their Yupik songs were given to them through dreams. Most of them are simple translations to scriptures, some which came even before they knew scripture!
We have definitely received a taste of the culture already! We have eaten bearded seal (both raw and cooked). Matt compares the taste and texture to a cow feeding on salmon. We also tasted ‘mung tuk’ which is a slice of whale skin with blubber (again, both raw and cooked). We enjoyed them both! Currently, many of the men have gone to the whale camp on the south side of the island. The whaling season is a big part of the year’s provision of food. Before whaling season starts, the community meets and holds a church service. It is clear they see it as a provision from God. Last night we received word that they had killed a small (if there is such a thing) Bowhead whale. It is said that whenever a whale is killed, that a light fluffy snow falls. This indicates that the whale has given itself as a sacrifice for the life of the village. Sure enough, last night and this morning, the winds stopped blowing and a light, fluffy snow settled on the ground. Today, we are praising God for His faithfulness!
Saturday night, we joined the community in an ‘atuq’ (pronounced ah-toke), also called in English ‘Eskimo dance.’ It was INCREDIBLE!!! I got to wear my new cuspik–a traditional top for women. About 10 men sat in front with their drums made of seal or walrus stomach. They sang as they drummed, while others danced. Each song has a specific dance that tells a story. Although we certainly didn’t know the dances, we were invited to try. It was so much fun. The women’s dance is very stationary, moving mostly their upper body using very elegant hand motions. The men have much more freedom in movement. Both Matt and I enjoyed trying to follow along with their movements. Our team’s willingness to try seemed very much appreciated by those there.
We only have 2 more weeks here in Savoonga before we travel to the next village. Please continue to lift us and this community up in your prayers. Pray for Matt, as he is recovering from a cold. Pray for our team’s energy to meet the kids needs. Pray for more open doors and opportunities to share the love of Christ, especially in the adult (25-40 y/o) generation. Thanks!!!
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Monday, March 31, 2008
Northern Exposure
Well, today is our first day of 'outreach.' We got up EARLY (3:00am) to catch a 6:00am flight to Nome. Our flight first took us to Kotzabue, a city just northeast of Nome inside the arctic circle! We dropped half the plane off and picked up a few others and took off for Nome. We circled above Nome for a while. The pilot said the tail wind was too strong so we were waiting for the o.k. to make our landing on an alternative runway. We slowly began our decent, and just as slowly returned to higher altitude. The visibility had deteriorated. We floated in the air for another 10 minutes hoping the weather would show us favor. NOPE, back to Anchorage (our starting point). We returned to the Anchorage airport at 10:30am and rushed to the next gate to catch the next plane. We boarded, and SAT for an hour until they realized conditions were not improving in Nome. We are now in Anchorage waiting for a 5:30pm flight. Our own research reveals a winter storm warning for Nome and the island in effect until tomorrow night.
Flexibility turns out to be a great asset, whether in SE Asia or Alaska.
Flexibility turns out to be a great asset, whether in SE Asia or Alaska.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Contact Info
We can be reached in Savoonga and Gamble these next 2 months!! We WILL BE in the US, and the US Postal Service is reliable, just a tad bit slower. Give mail an average of 2 weeks.
We will be at our first location until APRIL 22nd:
Savoonga Presbyterian Church
c/o YWAM - Matt & Lindsay Freeland
PO Box 119
Savoonga, AK 99769
From April 23rd - May 16th, send mail to:
Gambell Presbyterian Church
c/o YWAM - Matt & Lindsay Freeland
PO Box 136
Gambell, AK 99742
Packages are welcome!! We will be working with kids a lot so any kind of treats/candy would be great or Fun/creative art supplies. The elderly ladies appreciate personal, handmade items. Lindsay hopes to be able to crochet doily's as personal gifts. If anyone would like to send any handmade items (esp doily's), just attatch a note of who made it so we can share it's story. Hand towels, work gloves, fragrant lotions are also practical items we can give as gifts.
We are not sure if we will have access to internet or not. If we do, you can be sure that we will let you know how we are doing!! Otherwise, check back the end of May! Thanks for your continued support and prayers!!
Love, Matt and Lindsay
P.S. BE SURE to check the picture page for the latest snapshots.
We will be at our first location until APRIL 22nd:
Savoonga Presbyterian Church
c/o YWAM - Matt & Lindsay Freeland
PO Box 119
Savoonga, AK 99769
From April 23rd - May 16th, send mail to:
Gambell Presbyterian Church
c/o YWAM - Matt & Lindsay Freeland
PO Box 136
Gambell, AK 99742
Packages are welcome!! We will be working with kids a lot so any kind of treats/candy would be great or Fun/creative art supplies. The elderly ladies appreciate personal, handmade items. Lindsay hopes to be able to crochet doily's as personal gifts. If anyone would like to send any handmade items (esp doily's), just attatch a note of who made it so we can share it's story. Hand towels, work gloves, fragrant lotions are also practical items we can give as gifts.
We are not sure if we will have access to internet or not. If we do, you can be sure that we will let you know how we are doing!! Otherwise, check back the end of May! Thanks for your continued support and prayers!!
Love, Matt and Lindsay
P.S. BE SURE to check the picture page for the latest snapshots.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
next stop: St Lawrence Island.
Where does the time go??
These first 3 months in Homer have cruised by way too fast!! It has been a GREAT time for us. Because of the environment, it seems Matt and I have grown so much as a couple. There has been no where for either of us to escape to when conflict arises, and we've been forced to face issues that otherwise would have been walked off and buried. It has been really good for us. I absolutely love my husband, and it has been such a blessing to see and be a part of his personal growth as well. I am in such good hands. Matt's wisdom, his leadership, his compassion, and his service continue to blow my mind!
What's next for us??
In less than 2 weeks, Matt and I will be on our way to St. Lawrence Island. Here is a quick geographical lesson to pass on about St. Lawrence Island. It is part of Alaska (and therefore America). It is located just south of the Bering Straight and only 35 miles from the Russian Coast! The Island has NO TREES and pretty high winds. Only 2 village towns are located on the island, and we will be spending time in both Savoonga and Gambell. The people are mostly Siberian Yupik (a type of Eskimo) who live on sustinance hunting. The main prey includes whale, seal, walrus, and fish. Alcoholism, sexual abuse, depression, and suicide are some of the widespread social issues. Shamanism is still practiced on the island.
Although it sounds like a lot of darkness has settled over the land, we are so excited to get to know these people! They are relational and beautiful. I can't wait to hear their stories and develop relationships with them!! Basketball is a daily activity in the village, so I am also looking forward to getting back in shape. It sounds like they've never really let girls play, so I am a bit nervous. I hope to earn their respect and open new doors.
Please continue to lift us and the island up in prayer!! Although I don't fully understand how prayer works, I know it does. I know with out it, things are a lot harder! Pray for unity among our team, protection over us as a married couple, and pray for our leaders Jeremy, Marie, and Melanie. Pray for Grace over us as we cross cultures. Pray for the Yupik people: for freedom from addictions, for healing, for joy, and for revelation of Jesus!!! Thank you all so much!!
These first 3 months in Homer have cruised by way too fast!! It has been a GREAT time for us. Because of the environment, it seems Matt and I have grown so much as a couple. There has been no where for either of us to escape to when conflict arises, and we've been forced to face issues that otherwise would have been walked off and buried. It has been really good for us. I absolutely love my husband, and it has been such a blessing to see and be a part of his personal growth as well. I am in such good hands. Matt's wisdom, his leadership, his compassion, and his service continue to blow my mind!
What's next for us??
In less than 2 weeks, Matt and I will be on our way to St. Lawrence Island. Here is a quick geographical lesson to pass on about St. Lawrence Island. It is part of Alaska (and therefore America). It is located just south of the Bering Straight and only 35 miles from the Russian Coast! The Island has NO TREES and pretty high winds. Only 2 village towns are located on the island, and we will be spending time in both Savoonga and Gambell. The people are mostly Siberian Yupik (a type of Eskimo) who live on sustinance hunting. The main prey includes whale, seal, walrus, and fish. Alcoholism, sexual abuse, depression, and suicide are some of the widespread social issues. Shamanism is still practiced on the island.
Although it sounds like a lot of darkness has settled over the land, we are so excited to get to know these people! They are relational and beautiful. I can't wait to hear their stories and develop relationships with them!! Basketball is a daily activity in the village, so I am also looking forward to getting back in shape. It sounds like they've never really let girls play, so I am a bit nervous. I hope to earn their respect and open new doors.
Please continue to lift us and the island up in prayer!! Although I don't fully understand how prayer works, I know it does. I know with out it, things are a lot harder! Pray for unity among our team, protection over us as a married couple, and pray for our leaders Jeremy, Marie, and Melanie. Pray for Grace over us as we cross cultures. Pray for the Yupik people: for freedom from addictions, for healing, for joy, and for revelation of Jesus!!! Thank you all so much!!
Saturday, March 8, 2008
An Attempt to Tell My Story/Testimony
I grew up attending church with my family. I was baptised, had my first confession, first communion, and went through conformation. I went through all the steps that I believed I needed to do to be a good christian and a good catholic. I went to Wednesday night church school. I prayed the Our Father, Hail Mary, and the Glory Be. However, I seemed to be missing something rather big along the way. But what was it?
After conformation I began my drift away from the church and away from God. I became a 'Cheaster' as we called it. I only went to church on Christmas and Easter, or important events. I went through a season of about seven years where God not only felt distant, but at times even nonexistent. I went through a cycle of being mad at God, during which a lot of insecurities and frustrations poured out. I then hit a point where I questioned God's existence. I believed atheistic ideas that came out of college professor's mouths. At that time in my life it was very easy to buy into the things they were saying because of the distance that I had put between God and I. I bought into evolution and the "Big Bang Theory" ways of thinking. Then as cycles go, I was brought back to where I started. I was sitting around one day and a question popped into my head. "What went bang?" "Well, I don't know what went bang. No one ever really answered that before. I mean how could something have exploded and started the creation of matter if there was nothing," I thought. "As far as I know you can't make something from nothing. Everything you make has to start from something, unless your God." Ohh, a light bulb kicked on for me that day, but it was a bit dim. For the first time though, I started looking at this world as a miracle. I took on a new appreciation for everything around me. I started to believe again. However, it just brought me back around to where I started. Upset with God. I believed in God's existence again, but did not feel like He was too interested in me. I began to rationalize God. From the little I actually knew about God at the time, I formed a comfortable, logical, well thought out picture of God. To me He had become a distant, uncaring, uninvolved, judgemental God. He created the world and then took a vacation to see what we would do with it. That is how I had perceived my experiences with God up to that time.
It was not until I started struggling with my job at the St. Cloud Police Department that I started to pursue God, or rather, as I know now, I recognized God's pursuit of me. Jesus says in John 6:44, "No one can come to me unless the Father who has sent me draws him..." Even though I had given up on God, He had never given up on me. He had been working to draw me back to Him that whole time. It was not until the little world I had tried to build was falling apart that I recognized His pursuit in my heart. He was my last resort as I struggled to figure out why nothing felt right about what I was doing. I started praying the prayers I knew again. I had a prayer I read before I went to work each day, and I even started praying out my frustrations a bit. It was at this time that I saw God answer my biggest prayer.
At this time it just so happened that Lindsay had come home from her YWAM DTS. I had feelings for Lindsay prior to her return, but I never pursued her. Timing and distance always kept me from stepping out and taking a risk, or maybe it gave me an excuse. I am still not to sure on that. I can look back now, though, and see God's timing in this. My heart wasn't really ready for God, but I needed Him. As Lindsay and I started to catch up and eventually start dating, God began using her. She began to stand in the gap between God and I. She prayed for me in a way I had never thought to pray before. She was there when I needed to talk, she supported me, she was a friend, and she loved me before she ever LOVED me. She was a reflection of who God really is.
I began going back to church with her. We went to a variety of different services. Including an outdoor service at Sibley State Park. I really liked the idea of getting outside of a building into God's creation to spend Sundays with Him. She also brought me with her to her college church in Fridley, MN for the worship service. It came complete with full band, people standing and clapping, waving flags, and of course a good AMEN or two out of the crowd at random times. It was a bit different for me, but I loved it. I also found myself meeting a lot of people at this time that would help me a lot over the ten months that Lindsay would be returning to Bangladesh.
The day came when Lindsay had to get on a plane for Bangladesh, and I had to get started on something. I had finally figured out what the big thing was that I seemed to be missing along the way during my childhood. A personal relationship with God. I began reading the bible again, and was hit with such strong emotions again and again as I read it. I was hungry for answers, and hungry to know God. I started reading some books that were recommended to me, and the Word started taking on even more meaning. Most importantly, I began to finally start seeing who Jesus really was, and what it meant to follow Him.
It wasn't long after this that I found myself on a mission trip to Ensenada, Mexico with a group of people I had only met a couple of times before from Lindsay's church in Fridley, MN. I was going to get a taste of missions, and to see a little bit about YWAM since they were hosting our Homes of Hope trip in Ensenada. I got rocked over that week. The very first morning we were there I had a life changing experience. We went to a local church that morning for their Sunday service. It just felt like there was electricity in the air form the time I got there. They had a full worship band and the place was filled with a few hundred people. I found myself trying to follow along with the songs the best I could using what little spanish I remembered from high school. I was having fun as words and phrases were coming back to me, and was feeling pretty good about remembering so much from classes I had six years before. Then their guest speaker for the day came out. He told us an amazing story of overcoming drugs and other hardships as he grew up, and how God had saved him. He was there to speak on family and bringing Jesus into your marriage, family, etc. I found myself praying toward the end of it, and than with out really noticing the transition, I heard him start speaking to us as individuals. He started down a line of questions that I wish I could remember in more detail, but it came down to us bringing Jesus into our lives. I remember him asking the crowd to close their eyes. Then he asked some things and asked those who wanted them to raise their hands. So I did. He then spoke some more and tears started running down my face uncontrollably. He asked us to stand if we wanted these things in our lives so I stood up. So there I was, arm raised, standing up, eyes closed, and tears running down my face when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I opened my eyes to see one of the group members behind me and only a dozen or so people standing in the crowd. I had expected to see everyone standing since what he was saying was so good. After a few moments of feeling self conscious, those of us that were standing prayed. I then received that relationship I was missing for so long as I accepted Jesus into my life, and I have been working with Him to strengthen it ever since.
Now, I find myself in Homer, Alaska. I am married, going through a Discipleship Training School with YWAM, and still getting rocked every week by God. There is just so much to Him. There is a depth I never knew, and I am loving having this opportunity to get to grow in that relationship
After conformation I began my drift away from the church and away from God. I became a 'Cheaster' as we called it. I only went to church on Christmas and Easter, or important events. I went through a season of about seven years where God not only felt distant, but at times even nonexistent. I went through a cycle of being mad at God, during which a lot of insecurities and frustrations poured out. I then hit a point where I questioned God's existence. I believed atheistic ideas that came out of college professor's mouths. At that time in my life it was very easy to buy into the things they were saying because of the distance that I had put between God and I. I bought into evolution and the "Big Bang Theory" ways of thinking. Then as cycles go, I was brought back to where I started. I was sitting around one day and a question popped into my head. "What went bang?" "Well, I don't know what went bang. No one ever really answered that before. I mean how could something have exploded and started the creation of matter if there was nothing," I thought. "As far as I know you can't make something from nothing. Everything you make has to start from something, unless your God." Ohh, a light bulb kicked on for me that day, but it was a bit dim. For the first time though, I started looking at this world as a miracle. I took on a new appreciation for everything around me. I started to believe again. However, it just brought me back around to where I started. Upset with God. I believed in God's existence again, but did not feel like He was too interested in me. I began to rationalize God. From the little I actually knew about God at the time, I formed a comfortable, logical, well thought out picture of God. To me He had become a distant, uncaring, uninvolved, judgemental God. He created the world and then took a vacation to see what we would do with it. That is how I had perceived my experiences with God up to that time.
It was not until I started struggling with my job at the St. Cloud Police Department that I started to pursue God, or rather, as I know now, I recognized God's pursuit of me. Jesus says in John 6:44, "No one can come to me unless the Father who has sent me draws him..." Even though I had given up on God, He had never given up on me. He had been working to draw me back to Him that whole time. It was not until the little world I had tried to build was falling apart that I recognized His pursuit in my heart. He was my last resort as I struggled to figure out why nothing felt right about what I was doing. I started praying the prayers I knew again. I had a prayer I read before I went to work each day, and I even started praying out my frustrations a bit. It was at this time that I saw God answer my biggest prayer.
At this time it just so happened that Lindsay had come home from her YWAM DTS. I had feelings for Lindsay prior to her return, but I never pursued her. Timing and distance always kept me from stepping out and taking a risk, or maybe it gave me an excuse. I am still not to sure on that. I can look back now, though, and see God's timing in this. My heart wasn't really ready for God, but I needed Him. As Lindsay and I started to catch up and eventually start dating, God began using her. She began to stand in the gap between God and I. She prayed for me in a way I had never thought to pray before. She was there when I needed to talk, she supported me, she was a friend, and she loved me before she ever LOVED me. She was a reflection of who God really is.
I began going back to church with her. We went to a variety of different services. Including an outdoor service at Sibley State Park. I really liked the idea of getting outside of a building into God's creation to spend Sundays with Him. She also brought me with her to her college church in Fridley, MN for the worship service. It came complete with full band, people standing and clapping, waving flags, and of course a good AMEN or two out of the crowd at random times. It was a bit different for me, but I loved it. I also found myself meeting a lot of people at this time that would help me a lot over the ten months that Lindsay would be returning to Bangladesh.
The day came when Lindsay had to get on a plane for Bangladesh, and I had to get started on something. I had finally figured out what the big thing was that I seemed to be missing along the way during my childhood. A personal relationship with God. I began reading the bible again, and was hit with such strong emotions again and again as I read it. I was hungry for answers, and hungry to know God. I started reading some books that were recommended to me, and the Word started taking on even more meaning. Most importantly, I began to finally start seeing who Jesus really was, and what it meant to follow Him.
It wasn't long after this that I found myself on a mission trip to Ensenada, Mexico with a group of people I had only met a couple of times before from Lindsay's church in Fridley, MN. I was going to get a taste of missions, and to see a little bit about YWAM since they were hosting our Homes of Hope trip in Ensenada. I got rocked over that week. The very first morning we were there I had a life changing experience. We went to a local church that morning for their Sunday service. It just felt like there was electricity in the air form the time I got there. They had a full worship band and the place was filled with a few hundred people. I found myself trying to follow along with the songs the best I could using what little spanish I remembered from high school. I was having fun as words and phrases were coming back to me, and was feeling pretty good about remembering so much from classes I had six years before. Then their guest speaker for the day came out. He told us an amazing story of overcoming drugs and other hardships as he grew up, and how God had saved him. He was there to speak on family and bringing Jesus into your marriage, family, etc. I found myself praying toward the end of it, and than with out really noticing the transition, I heard him start speaking to us as individuals. He started down a line of questions that I wish I could remember in more detail, but it came down to us bringing Jesus into our lives. I remember him asking the crowd to close their eyes. Then he asked some things and asked those who wanted them to raise their hands. So I did. He then spoke some more and tears started running down my face uncontrollably. He asked us to stand if we wanted these things in our lives so I stood up. So there I was, arm raised, standing up, eyes closed, and tears running down my face when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I opened my eyes to see one of the group members behind me and only a dozen or so people standing in the crowd. I had expected to see everyone standing since what he was saying was so good. After a few moments of feeling self conscious, those of us that were standing prayed. I then received that relationship I was missing for so long as I accepted Jesus into my life, and I have been working with Him to strengthen it ever since.
Now, I find myself in Homer, Alaska. I am married, going through a Discipleship Training School with YWAM, and still getting rocked every week by God. There is just so much to Him. There is a depth I never knew, and I am loving having this opportunity to get to grow in that relationship
Saturday, March 1, 2008
Something more personal.
I have been feeling driven to share something a bit more personal. The last couple weeks have had me really thinking about the changes taking place in me and those around me. More so, I have been feeling led to share a bit more about myself and my relationship with God. I have never really done this before, and I think God might be prompting me to look deeper into who I am as I look deeper into who He is. So, this is the first of a few blogs I have written up over the last two weeks.
What do people think of you?
Have you ever stopped and asked yourself this question? If you are like me, than you probably have not asked it directly, yet you are probably evaluating the answer every day without realizing it. An example might be worrying about being late. Why do we worry about that? For me it is because I don't want others to see me as rude or disrespectful. We bite our tongues instead of confronting someone about a problem right away. Why? Because many of us don't want conflict. We don't want to be viewed as "oversensitive, jerks, nags," or whatever you want to associate with conflict. Maybe more so for me, but I think you set yourself up to be vulnerable at these times. People get to see into the deeper workings of who you are as you explain why something is bothering you. It is a little scary to be transparent with people. You don't want them to see your faults, dreams, beliefs, or anything that might make you different than who YOU think that THEY think you are. Yet conflict is good. There is so much freedom in getting things off your chest. Mark 11:25 says, "And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive your sins." So, we are supposed to go out and resolve our conflicts with others. It is so important that we are supposed to stop worshiping and go be reconciled, and than come back to God. (Matthew 5:23-24) Yet so often we don't.
A question I have been hearing around here lately, and a question I have now been asking myself is "What do I tell people back home about the changes going on with me?" How do you share the things you are learning about yourself without feeling vulnerable? It is a tough struggle to be truly transparent with people who have known you most of your life. Yet, they have only seen a portion of who you are. For example, anyone that has been in a car with me over the last few years knows that I have been anything but loving towards other drivers that I view as doing something wrong. So, it is hard to admit, now, that God has been breaking my heart for people and that daily He is reminding me to lay down judgement and just love people (especially other drivers). Mark 12:30-31 the greatest commandment says, " Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: Love your neighbor as yourself." I have read this before, but not too long ago I looked at this and thought "oh crap." I judged (Matthew 7:1-2) and got mad at others every time that I left the house, and that is just the start of my failings to love others. Yet there is Jesus himself saying love God and love your neighbor. 'Uffda! I got some work ahead of me,' I thought. As I said earlier, I still have to lay my frustrations, angers, and judgements at his feet daily. However, I am realizing that it is not so much me that is working, but God working on me.
Again, though, how do I tell people back home about these things? Especially the much deeper things, and the things others may not understand without experiencing it first hand. So, I have decided to start with my story (testimony) that has led me here, and let God guide me through sharing. My story is not something I have shared a lot with people, but I think I am being prompted to start. So, I will be writing a bit more as I have time over the next few days. Thanks for your prayers and support. Matt.
p.s. There are some new pictures.
What do people think of you?
Have you ever stopped and asked yourself this question? If you are like me, than you probably have not asked it directly, yet you are probably evaluating the answer every day without realizing it. An example might be worrying about being late. Why do we worry about that? For me it is because I don't want others to see me as rude or disrespectful. We bite our tongues instead of confronting someone about a problem right away. Why? Because many of us don't want conflict. We don't want to be viewed as "oversensitive, jerks, nags," or whatever you want to associate with conflict. Maybe more so for me, but I think you set yourself up to be vulnerable at these times. People get to see into the deeper workings of who you are as you explain why something is bothering you. It is a little scary to be transparent with people. You don't want them to see your faults, dreams, beliefs, or anything that might make you different than who YOU think that THEY think you are. Yet conflict is good. There is so much freedom in getting things off your chest. Mark 11:25 says, "And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive your sins." So, we are supposed to go out and resolve our conflicts with others. It is so important that we are supposed to stop worshiping and go be reconciled, and than come back to God. (Matthew 5:23-24) Yet so often we don't.
A question I have been hearing around here lately, and a question I have now been asking myself is "What do I tell people back home about the changes going on with me?" How do you share the things you are learning about yourself without feeling vulnerable? It is a tough struggle to be truly transparent with people who have known you most of your life. Yet, they have only seen a portion of who you are. For example, anyone that has been in a car with me over the last few years knows that I have been anything but loving towards other drivers that I view as doing something wrong. So, it is hard to admit, now, that God has been breaking my heart for people and that daily He is reminding me to lay down judgement and just love people (especially other drivers). Mark 12:30-31 the greatest commandment says, " Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: Love your neighbor as yourself." I have read this before, but not too long ago I looked at this and thought "oh crap." I judged (Matthew 7:1-2) and got mad at others every time that I left the house, and that is just the start of my failings to love others. Yet there is Jesus himself saying love God and love your neighbor. 'Uffda! I got some work ahead of me,' I thought. As I said earlier, I still have to lay my frustrations, angers, and judgements at his feet daily. However, I am realizing that it is not so much me that is working, but God working on me.
Again, though, how do I tell people back home about these things? Especially the much deeper things, and the things others may not understand without experiencing it first hand. So, I have decided to start with my story (testimony) that has led me here, and let God guide me through sharing. My story is not something I have shared a lot with people, but I think I am being prompted to start. So, I will be writing a bit more as I have time over the next few days. Thanks for your prayers and support. Matt.
p.s. There are some new pictures.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
An ocean-front view of God's Love
It's fun to share with people our journey to Homer. I can count a handful of times that I've been able to respond, "That's right; we got hitched and arrived in Homer 2 days later." People kind of give us the You-guys-are-crazy look. These people know what YWAM is. They are familiar with the community living situations and the intensity of the training process. After a few minutes of processing it, though, they come around and seem to confirm what God told us. "What a good way to start a marriage. Start with God."
I cannot honestly tell you that our 10 hour honeymoon was all I desired. (I'm sure I speak for Matt, too.) I would have liked to have my new husband all to myself for a few more days, at least. Yet, At the same time, I was excited about the adventure God had ahead of us. We've been here and married for over a month now. We've adjusted to our new lifestyle quite well and although the community living stuff makes it hard to act like newlyweds, we're learning how to make it work. We are honestly happy and satisfied. Although we let go of the standard honeymoon desire months before our wedding day, God didn't. God honors the good desires of our hearts. We serve a generous God--One who gives us all we need, and then some. This weekend, God poured his blessings over us!
The fun started Saturday with Matt's unexpected invitation to go ice fishing for silver salmon and rainbow trout on a local Alaskan lake. Although it was a cold day and people don't use ice-houses, they didn't have to stay out all day to catch their limits. It only took an hour for four guys to snag 40 salmon on the first lake, and another hour to catch their limit of 20 trout (5 each) on the second lake. Matt came home, and didn't even have a chance to clean up before we received the next blessing.
Like I said before, we let go of our desire for that 'normal' honeymoon, but God didn't. Saturday night, we were taken to a local Bed and Breakfast to spend the rest of the weekend together. We arrived on a clear night and the stars were countless. Although it was dark, we could hear waves crashing on shore nearby. And the view that next morning from our huge picture window nearly brought me to tears: Mountains, ocean, and a colorful sunrise-sky. We were staying at an ocean front bed and breakfast! WOW!!!
It's not over yet. On behalf of Valentines day, we were invited to a local couple's house for a Valentine's day dinner Sunday night. The craziest part is that we had never met this couple. They heard about us and just wanted to bless us.
God is good and faithful and loves to pour out His love on us. All we have to do is chose to receive it, which is a lesson both Matt and I seem to be learning.
I cannot honestly tell you that our 10 hour honeymoon was all I desired. (I'm sure I speak for Matt, too.) I would have liked to have my new husband all to myself for a few more days, at least. Yet, At the same time, I was excited about the adventure God had ahead of us. We've been here and married for over a month now. We've adjusted to our new lifestyle quite well and although the community living stuff makes it hard to act like newlyweds, we're learning how to make it work. We are honestly happy and satisfied. Although we let go of the standard honeymoon desire months before our wedding day, God didn't. God honors the good desires of our hearts. We serve a generous God--One who gives us all we need, and then some. This weekend, God poured his blessings over us!
The fun started Saturday with Matt's unexpected invitation to go ice fishing for silver salmon and rainbow trout on a local Alaskan lake. Although it was a cold day and people don't use ice-houses, they didn't have to stay out all day to catch their limits. It only took an hour for four guys to snag 40 salmon on the first lake, and another hour to catch their limit of 20 trout (5 each) on the second lake. Matt came home, and didn't even have a chance to clean up before we received the next blessing.
Like I said before, we let go of our desire for that 'normal' honeymoon, but God didn't. Saturday night, we were taken to a local Bed and Breakfast to spend the rest of the weekend together. We arrived on a clear night and the stars were countless. Although it was dark, we could hear waves crashing on shore nearby. And the view that next morning from our huge picture window nearly brought me to tears: Mountains, ocean, and a colorful sunrise-sky. We were staying at an ocean front bed and breakfast! WOW!!!
It's not over yet. On behalf of Valentines day, we were invited to a local couple's house for a Valentine's day dinner Sunday night. The craziest part is that we had never met this couple. They heard about us and just wanted to bless us.
God is good and faithful and loves to pour out His love on us. All we have to do is chose to receive it, which is a lesson both Matt and I seem to be learning.
Monday, February 11, 2008
Finally. Time for updateing.
So, we recently returned to Homer from a 10 day outreach to Ouzinke, AK. Ouzinke is located on Spruce Island which is just northeast of Kodiak. It is mainly an Alutiiq village of about 200 people. We went to help the Kodiak Baptist Mission with some remodeling they are doing on a mission house there. The house is over 50 years old and had little insulation. It is in need of some updateing.
We left Homer and took a 12 hour ferry ride on the Tustemena to Kodiak. From there 17 of us hopped on a 32 foot boat called the Diakanos--only following our survival suit training, of course. After all, this is winter in Alaska.
We had a surprisingly good reception in Ouzinke. We had been praying for God to open some doors to us, and He definately did. It was the second time that a YWAM group had gone to work on the Smith house there, but the first time did not open many opportunities to get to know the locals. They mainly ended up just working on the house. We however were met on the docks by a man named Nick whose family had been around that area for over two hundred years. He than helped us haul our gear to the house. The previous trip there, he only watched them as they went by. So, it was something special from the start. We found many opportunities to meet people the next day walking around the town, and earned ourselves an invite to their open gym.
We found basketball to be our way in, for the most part. We got to know many of the young people in the village and a couple of the more active adults. Through this we got to know more about the needs of the village and heard about things that they would like to see happen with the Smith house. There was alot of excitement when they thought about someone coming back into the house full time. They are hungry for fellowship, and for God.
We also were blessed a lot on the trip. A man by the name of Herman, who we met while playing basketball, invited us all for dinner and for the Superbowl. So, we all ended up getting to watch the game. He fed us like kings. Not only did he provide pizzas, pop, chips for the game, but he also prepared fresh seafood pasta for dinner. It was an incredible act of generosity.
The biggest thing from our week, though, is the reception. The leadership with us said it is not very often that we get a reception like that. So many people were sad to see us going so soon and wanted to know when we would be back. There were also requests from some to get the same team back. It was good, and we hopefully opened alot of doors for the groups to come. Who knows, maybe we will even be part of one of those future groups.
if you are curious about where we just visited, check out the town's website! go to www.ouzinkie.org
We left Homer and took a 12 hour ferry ride on the Tustemena to Kodiak. From there 17 of us hopped on a 32 foot boat called the Diakanos--only following our survival suit training, of course. After all, this is winter in Alaska.
We had a surprisingly good reception in Ouzinke. We had been praying for God to open some doors to us, and He definately did. It was the second time that a YWAM group had gone to work on the Smith house there, but the first time did not open many opportunities to get to know the locals. They mainly ended up just working on the house. We however were met on the docks by a man named Nick whose family had been around that area for over two hundred years. He than helped us haul our gear to the house. The previous trip there, he only watched them as they went by. So, it was something special from the start. We found many opportunities to meet people the next day walking around the town, and earned ourselves an invite to their open gym.
We found basketball to be our way in, for the most part. We got to know many of the young people in the village and a couple of the more active adults. Through this we got to know more about the needs of the village and heard about things that they would like to see happen with the Smith house. There was alot of excitement when they thought about someone coming back into the house full time. They are hungry for fellowship, and for God.
We also were blessed a lot on the trip. A man by the name of Herman, who we met while playing basketball, invited us all for dinner and for the Superbowl. So, we all ended up getting to watch the game. He fed us like kings. Not only did he provide pizzas, pop, chips for the game, but he also prepared fresh seafood pasta for dinner. It was an incredible act of generosity.
The biggest thing from our week, though, is the reception. The leadership with us said it is not very often that we get a reception like that. So many people were sad to see us going so soon and wanted to know when we would be back. There were also requests from some to get the same team back. It was good, and we hopefully opened alot of doors for the groups to come. Who knows, maybe we will even be part of one of those future groups.
if you are curious about where we just visited, check out the town's website! go to www.ouzinkie.org
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